Is it still me that makes you sweat?

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Step up 3 was so so awesome! It was the coolest movie ever! better than Youve got served! and the shoes! OMG almost fainted in the theater! Lav jo and i were probably the only ones screaming so much haha! and ADAM SEVANI is so HOT! HEHEHE! I LOVE THE MOVIE SO MUCH!

So last night i had this weird dream. I dreamt that you were in a dress...i know right? dress? and you grabbed my hand and i looked at your face and you looked so innocent, i knew i had to pull away so i did...slowly your fingers parted from mine...and i looked at you as i walked away. You never turned back. You just kept staring at me like you didnt want me to leave. I turned around and continued to walk. Well by then i woke up.

I didnt want to tell anyone about this because it was the stupidest dream i have ever had. I havent thought of you for so long. But today something happened....is it a coincidence? I REALLY DUNNO!

I know that she likes me. She cant make it anymore obvious. She practically said she liked me 6 times in all of today. But its not the confession that scares me. Its the things that she says.

She said things i used to say to you. We smsed about the same things i used to text you about. She has siblings like you do. And she talked about them too. She does things i used to do when i was with you. Like sms in the theater and she tells me that im funny and cute. Confess that i make her smile to herself. I told her that i will get annoying after a while. I told her that one day ill be a disturbance. That was what you say to me.
She tells me that im different, that i dont annoy her at all and she likes me texting her. Its not a disturbance. I used to say that to you.
Her uncle passed away. I consoled her, just like how you did when my great granny passed away.
She told me that she was afraid that if she texted too much my bills will sky rocket. And i said the same thing to you. And i replied the same way you did. I told her that its okay.

I didnt realise all this until she told me her uncle passed away...then everything just came back. All the memories. I was so stupid.

What if i fall for her because i felt i had to, since she liked me. Like you did with me? What if i cant differentiate sympathy from like. And i think i like her? What if i use her as a replacement like you did?

All this coincidence is killing me. Its like everything is coming back. Or is it that i know im falling for her....and im making excuses to not? Mistakes were made so we can learn from them.

So do i tell her that i can never be with her to prevent what happened with us? Prevent me from breaking her heart. Or do i give her a chance? Maybe it might be a good decision? I feel so stupid.

Lav says that i should date her already. Forget about the whole junior senior thing. But she says if i know im going to hurt her then i really shoudnt. I need to make up my mind.
Wan says i sound like david. Hahaha! He asked if i liked her back. That these are mistakes that i need to learn from. Wan says that its normal that memories come back. It happens to him too. That if i really dont like her than i should tell her.
Helen says that i should just chill. and that the coincidence of the scary text msg which got mysteriously deleted which my aunt claims was sent by my mom. Is not a coincidence with all that has happened today. There is no paranormal things happening.

And my mom brought home a bouquet she caught from the bride. Maybe she is getting married to someone new? Hopefully someone who doesnt make her massage his feet every day.

Cant wait to watch Going the Distance!

I Confess I Messed Up
10:17 PM