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Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I love talking to Nat i love her so much but i hate when she tells me her story.
She emailed angeline asking her why? and angeline replied about how they were worlds apart that nat did make her smile did make her happy did make her cry. but she just realised tt after everything they have nothing in common. and the reason why she got involved with nat was because she wanted the attention of a relationship she wanted someone to treat her good and love her and do sweet stuff for her which was what nat did for her wholeheartedly. Then when angeline realised that that was it. She found nat annoying and that things were different everything was wrong and she felt so guilty. She didnt want to continue anything with nat because she just didnt love nat anymore.
=.= ARGH! WTH. And nat replied to her saying thank you and she still misses her...OMG.
Nat talked to me about why first relationships hurt. Because of the physical contact. Because of the first kiss, the first long hug, the first i love you. The first person who you loved and actually even for just that bit did love you back.
She loved angeline more than her friends.
ARGH.Nat! You keep telling me you are over her!You keep saying that there is someone else out there for you! BUT you are not! Its 4.30! Spain has won! and yet you are still talking to me! ABOUT HER.
STOP MAKING ME CRY. Stop reminding me about disappointments and expectations.
sigh. I love you so much nat...you will find someone good for you someone who will appreciate your weirdness and awkwardness and stupidness and bullshit and flaws. I know it. Angeline was not the one. There will be someone who can love you despite whatever. You can be with someone you can proudly be with and boast that she is your girlfriend, you wished angeline was the one. You love seeing her happy. You hate seeing her sad. You still wish that she knew how fucking proud you were/are of her. You want to tell her that you still care but then you cant be there for her anymore. You are going to keep praying for her. Her hugs felt like home to you. When you see her, the outside world just falls into pieces. All you do is look into her eyes. All you feel is like telling her that you love her and you dont want to let her go. That it is so hard, that you cant. Angeline will always be your sunshine.
Yes when you are gone i will tell her how freaking important she was in your life. Stop crying about it please...she is an idiot not to know how much you put her first in your life! You cant tell her now but im sure she will find out hopefully not too late.
For now nat...its 5 am but I will stay on the line with you and listen to you till whenever you wanna stop talking which is not soon...but i dont care :)
I Confess I Messed Up
3:47 AM
The wound begins to close in on itself, to protect what is hurting so much.
_This Is Me__
~Name: Sarah Jane Gianna Anthony
Dramamama no.4
~Horoscope: Cancer
~birthday: 12th July
~Age: 18
~School: nanana...
_My Life__
~Ice Cream
~Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl, Big Bang Theory
_xBitchesx__
x Studying
x Certain peeps...*hint*
_+wishlist+__
Razia's Shadow a Musical album!!
Time!!