Friday, April 02, 2010
I missed my greatgrandma's 7th day prayers today.
I already feel like shit.
But some people think that i missed it on purpose.
Why in the world would i want to do that?
Stop telling me that all my cousins were there except me.
Stop telling me that i missed all the good stuff.
I dont need it. Not now. Not when i feel like ive been stepped on 100 times.
Im sorry i was talking on the phone till 2...but i have problems. Problems that have been eating inside of me.
Problems you dont want to hear about, so i tell people who actually care about me.
Do i look like im talking nonsense? im not! i just really needed to talk to someone about my problems and insecurities! so just leave me a hell alone!!! ENOUGH!!!
Dia Mata rosak, Kepala pun rosak. Thanks. I really needed to know that.
I just want to be happy. I want to be happy for one day! Is it my fault that i cant?!
Argh...then again...these problems. I feel so stupid for having all these stupid feelings. Its all small things but i cant help it...i get really hurt.I get hurt because i am scared. I get hurt because i feel that i am not good enough. Maybe im doing something wrong. Maybe i did do something really wrong and you cant forgive me.
Honestly Ive had enough of feeling hurt. I was so tired! I was so sick! I felt so depressed, i had things to do but i continued to talk to you. I told myself, no i had to. It made me happy when i talked to you. Then you ended the convo just like that. It was as if i was some pity fuck. I didnt feel made use off. I just feel guilty for wasting your time. Hmmmmm.
Im just going to not think about it. It happens. Shit happens. Whatever it is, no matter how i feel that you are totally oblivious to everything, maybe you are not. Maybe im thinking to much into it. Its all in my head.
Maybe i have to tell you. bleh. Im so sick and tired, literally.
I Confess I Messed Up
11:07 PM
The wound begins to close in on itself, to protect what is hurting so much.
_This Is Me__
~Name: Sarah Jane Gianna Anthony
Dramamama no.4
~Horoscope: Cancer
~birthday: 12th July
~Age: 18
~School: nanana...
_My Life__
~Ice Cream
~Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl, Big Bang Theory
_xBitchesx__
x Studying
x Certain peeps...*hint*
_+wishlist+__
Razia's Shadow a Musical album!!
Time!!