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Friday, April 02, 2010


I missed my greatgrandma's 7th day prayers today.
I already feel like shit.
But some people think that i missed it on purpose.
Why in the world would i want to do that?
Stop telling me that all my cousins were there except me.
Stop telling me that i missed all the good stuff.
I dont need it. Not now. Not when i feel like ive been stepped on 100 times.

Im sorry i was talking on the phone till 2...but i have problems. Problems that have been eating inside of me.
Problems you dont want to hear about, so i tell people who actually care about me.

Do i look like im talking nonsense? im not! i just really needed to talk to someone about my problems and insecurities! so just leave me a hell alone!!! ENOUGH!!!

Dia Mata rosak, Kepala pun rosak. Thanks. I really needed to know that.

I just want to be happy. I want to be happy for one day! Is it my fault that i cant?!

Argh...then again...these problems. I feel so stupid for having all these stupid feelings. Its all small things but i cant help it...i get really hurt.I get hurt because i am scared. I get hurt because i feel that i am not good enough. Maybe im doing something wrong. Maybe i did do something really wrong and you cant forgive me.
Honestly Ive had enough of feeling hurt. I was so tired! I was so sick! I felt so depressed, i had things to do but i continued to talk to you. I told myself, no i had to. It made me happy when i talked to you. Then you ended the convo just like that. It was as if i was some pity fuck. I didnt feel made use off. I just feel guilty for wasting your time. Hmmmmm.

Im just going to not think about it. It happens. Shit happens. Whatever it is, no matter how i feel that you are totally oblivious to everything, maybe you are not. Maybe im thinking to much into it. Its all in my head.

Maybe i have to tell you. bleh. Im so sick and tired, literally.

I Confess I Messed Up
11:07 PM


The wound begins to close in on itself, to protect what is hurting so much.

_This Is Me__

~Name: Sarah Jane Gianna Anthony Dramamama no.4
~Horoscope: Cancer
~birthday: 12th July
~Age: 18
~School: nanana...

_My Life__
~Ice Cream
~Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl, Big Bang Theory

_xBitchesx__
x Studying
x Certain peeps...*hint*

_+wishlist+__
Razia's Shadow a Musical album!!
Time!!

_Express-er machine.__


_Lovers__
gabbywabby
Helen
Hui Yun
Kian Hwee
Keith

_My Past__
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
January 2007
February 2007
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
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January 2009
February 2009
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January 2010
February 2010
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April 2010
May 2010
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July 2010
August 2010
September 2010


designed by Hui Min
thanks to Deviantart
picture by Bw-inc