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Monday, November 30, 2009
its all on the surface
hahahahaha!!!! so i decided to read my old posts!! hahaha i used to be so happy then!! most of my posts are NOT about sadness, grief, pain trivial stuff...nothing!
Everything was about school and how fun it was!!! and how i am always so easily impressed with anything!! i never knew anything! oblivious to my surroundings!!
the style of my writing was so different!! hahahaha!! its funny! now im writing so weirdly as in...the words i use...in fact when i read my old posts its like a part of me had changed...moved away...gone....matured?
hahaha dont know if its a good thing? but its definitely really surprising!
(hmmm.....my coffee is good....)
i even wrote this post about a guy i liked? about wanting to love him? really weird cuz i dont remember ever liking a guy! hahaha i read the post and my mind was full of question marks!! hahaha!! So who was the guy? anyways...school has also changed me i guess
relationship with friends...homework(i packed my notes!! :D)...lack of sleep...hot sun!!! HOT SUN has fried my brains!!!
i want to be a kid again!! and run around and play kites and mushroom!! hahaha my mom and i once tied a plastic bag to a string and flew it at my balcony!! hahaha it was so cool!!
BUT no i cant!!! i have to face this harsh reality...of lies, perverts and assholes.
I was on the train and standing in front of the door and i could see my reflection on the glass...it struck me that i could make a choice, to continue to stare at my reflection or to look through my reflection. I chose to look through my reflection but somehow i couldnt keep my eyes focus and kept switching back at my reflection.
hahahahaha!!! it may seem like just a stupid story but its as though looking through myself, my real self and my soul, was so difficult that i settled for the easier less strenuous to the eye option, i settled to just leave it at the surface. Afraid of what i might see.
hahahaha!! okok yeah i know...all this from a bloody MRT ride??
(finished my yummy coffee now off to my lovely warm bed)
I Confess I Messed Up
10:10 PM
The wound begins to close in on itself, to protect what is hurting so much.
_This Is Me__
~Name: Sarah Jane Gianna Anthony
Dramamama no.4
~Horoscope: Cancer
~birthday: 12th July
~Age: 18
~School: nanana...
_My Life__
~Ice Cream
~Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl, Big Bang Theory
_xBitchesx__
x Studying
x Certain peeps...*hint*
_+wishlist+__
Razia's Shadow a Musical album!!
Time!!