Is it still me that makes you sweat?

Saturday, February 28, 2009
For my lover boy- all those in favour of his execution raise up your hands please.

hehehehehe! its the hols!! wheee!! woohoo!! hahahaha!!

firstly im so so happy i have free time now
secondly i know tt once the results come out im gonna be dead, so i better enjoy myself first
thirdly i need a job!! i need money!! and my mom is acting protective again...saying she will pay me to clean the house...i know she just doesnt want me to work...lolness...
fourthly im pregnant.

hahaha! caught you! nah...i know old joke..i keep doing the same thing hahahaha!
well anyways...i am however gaining weight actually i am not...but im not losing weight either!! lolness...i keep eating chocolates during my free time and watching KDs non stop i sit around so much my back aches! how stupid is tt? my body cant stand the weight its carrying around hahaha!! plus i stay for a long time in the same position, staring at the same thing for 4 hrs straight...(sounds wrong)

best part...my back hurts when i walk...WALK! so when i finally get up only then do i feel the pain...so why would i want to get up then? hehehe!

but i am gonna move around....i have to hehe! if not i will really turn into a potato! i love the word poh-tak-toe...(poh has no toes)

ok down to serious biz
i met faus today and she was telling me about her 2nd year JC and like how she is really scared about it

so the following are sequence of events that took place today and her ans to my questions

(in the train with her mother and brother)
(casual talk about school and life)

1) What subjects do you take?

H2 math, chemistry, econs
H1 geography

2) Are you in counsel?

yeah im in counsel,
and ogl and sol(bigger ogl) and monitor and cca leader...(she trailed on and i lost her)

3) well, you just have to aim for NUS! you can do it! (smiles at her family members)

(brother) she is aiming higher...
(faus) I know i can do it...

4) (im my mind- yale...harvard) (no time for a huh?) Harvard?

yeah!

5) Have you researched on the place? Like how to get in what you gonna have to get? You know you have to go for an interview...? How is the interview gonna take place? What are your chance? (its a private college its gonna cost a heck load of money)

(confidently) yeah i researched a bit.

6) (what! a bit) (worried...) erm...well erm...erm...you gonna have to get a scholarship...you know that right.

I know, i already have a good testimonial.

7) (Heart drops, amazed by her zeal) (scared for her) Well thats great faus! Just work hard! you can do it! : D

yeah..i know i can. Thats also why im stressed...i must get all high As

8) (high As is not all you need to get. 3 year olds are on waiting lists to get into Harvard! didnt your mother teach you to face reality?) (argh! bad sarah! she is your friend!! your good friend! SUPPORT HER!) Thats great faus! you are the most amazing person i know! (looks at her mother beaming) (seriously) (trembling for her)(dont want to see her dissapointed) you will be able to get it! : D

Thanks sarah :D
bye faus!
(sarah gets of the train)

am i jealous? that she may have a chance? or do i know that she has no chance and that she is so freaking naive it scares me to see her like this!???

argh! again i end off in confusion and anger, with myself....is this fear? fear of myself facing reality? facing the truth about who i am? what i am going to do? i mean even though faus is insane! she has dreams...dreams for all you know she may get! and i...?

I Confess I Messed Up
8:04 PM

Sunday, February 22, 2009

argh!! today is not a good day! not a good day at all!! i dont know what to do with my life!! im so angry with someone!! such a bitch cuz so much problems for me!! argh!!! i dont know what to do now!!!!!

I Confess I Messed Up
9:43 PM

Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentines Day!

Today Kellyn is leaving...so sad!!!
i am gonna miss her....but she will be back soon! i wish!
anyways its Valentines day yipee...and i am feeling a sense of jealousy...about a certain someone...argh! it gets me so upset...for nothing...

and there is the other thing tt is still bugging me an i try to forget about it but i cant seem too...argh! it is so irritating to be angry at yourself...i mean only weird people like me beat themselves up over small pathetic matters like this!!

I Confess I Messed Up
4:25 PM

i am in pure shit right now....i dont stress about studying but about other things about my grandma, my mom, my dad, my aunt....lots more and i always put others first! and i stress about making others happy...and i hate it i hate it when they dont realise what i am doing...i hate it when the disregard you and they just dont care about you...or maybe im thinking too much and actually this is all my G--Damn bloody F-ing fault!

I Confess I Messed Up
1:16 AM

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

in your eyes i see things i know i cannot touch
i know not to reach for them
i let them touch me and i cherish these moments that we're able to share
however fleeting they may be

I Confess I Messed Up
9:00 PM

Monday, February 09, 2009
tired

today is the monday blues i guess....i studied a bit....but was so so sick! had really bad cold!! horrible!! i tried to sleep!!! but the stupid cold stopped me from sleeping! i kept having to grab more tissues and blowing my nose and sneezing! i sneezed 7 times consequently! so much so my ears now is all blocked....and it hurts when i blow my nose....my brain is in a jumble....and i am so tired...i just want to sleep but i cant...and i cant study cuz my nose keeps running and i cant concentrate....and you know how i fell sick?

cause of my stupid sinus!!!!!
i woke up later than usual today so my nose is acting out on me! argh! so irritating! i hate my nose! if i sleep too late i get this cold, if is wake up late i get this cold....omg! if i sleep too early it will act up too!!! i must follow a sleeping schedule, if my body is not used to it, my sinus will be really really bad!!!! i feel like im a zombie!! half dead....not dead....and i still have feelings and pain....and stress...unfortunately....

I Confess I Messed Up
11:08 PM

Sunday, February 08, 2009

i love to study! yipee! want to know why??

*drumrolls*

CUZ I DONT STUDY!!!

I Confess I Messed Up
2:43 PM

Saturday, February 07, 2009
exams

argh! i spent 4 hours on the computer! and still counting! i am not stressed out at all!! i dont get it!! pls! sarah pls get stressed pls stop this computer nonsense!! cuz its affecting your progress tremendously!! omg omg!! i am so pissed with myself! and i can still type type and write a post!! argh die die!!!!

btw i think my typing is getting better i still type slow but if i try and concentrate i can type without looking hahaha!! which is such a leap..hahaha!! considering the first time i used the computer!! my mom used to scream at me for typing so incredibly slow hehehe!!

okok study time yo! yipee!!

I Confess I Messed Up
6:56 PM

Thursday, February 05, 2009

I Confess I Messed Up
9:53 PM

Monday, February 02, 2009
microb

today..today....so irritating....today...went to school for one hr....sucks and i didnt do anything even when i stayed to study for a while...and now....i am wasting my time writing my blog!! argh!!

I Confess I Messed Up
11:20 PM

Sunday, February 01, 2009
driving

okay so as my title introduces my topic for todays post, i was driving....yes you read correctly i DROVE!! hahaha!! my dad almost killed me cuz i had no idea what i was doing and i could not drive for nuts!! hahahaha!! but it was so fun!! hahaha!! i stalled the car three times lol! hahaha!! and this couple got scared cuz it looked like i was gonna bang into their car....but my dad pulled the handbreak in time hahaha!!

so today i have many many overdue stuff to finish! yipee! im busy and i have work.....
i am gonna try...try.....to stop fantasising and wasting time and actually start my work! hahaha!! start yes another "heard me right" moment.....so yeah! hahaha!! oh and maybe i will try to do the last micro b post....so yeah try to fix up my posts... : D yipee! woohoo!! hahaha!! i love how words can sound so amazing and sacrcastic at the same time hahaha!!

i can do it!! thomas the train! i can do it!!

I Confess I Messed Up
2:05 PM