Monday, January 19, 2009
whatever it takes
okay...why is it everytime i let out on my blog?? my poor poor bloggie...yes there goes the days where i update you almost everyday about happiness in poly....
its such shit to just sit down and reflect and realise what a mess your life is in....your priorities and rubbish are all mixed up....worrying about petty things so that you will forget and wont think about the more important things to worry....
and worst! watching everyone else sail through while you struggle...and you doubt yourself....and you know whats worse....there is a guy at my next block who is trying to commit suicide right now....he is on the ledge and is siting at the ledge of the kitchen window....how crazy is tt there is a huge crowd and a fire engine and firemen...they blocked of the are and they are inflating a huge white and yellow base pillow thing so tt is he does fall he will be safe...
i cant believe all this is happenning at once its crazy...and my mom is writing a book about catolics....of all things....im happy for her....but i know once she starts this she would not stop...and there goes my mom....i will be pretty much non existent...
what is going on with....my frens....my family....my life.....
im having problems with monkey...everytime i talk to him he never fails to insult me...and unconsciously i always give him a reason too....why?? why cant i just act mature and accept everything take everything in a mature way....relaxed and practicall??...no i just act on impulse and irrationally....
for someone who thinks so much..what happened?? why...why? do i act like a whining kid...who needs attention??!! and i never stop i dont....i even insult others and act cool and smart....what is wrong with me!! argh! and i have so much work!! im am so stressed i have no time for monkey's problems anymore!! and now i heard monkeys "gf" wants to be my friends!! she wants to be FRIENDSS!!!
what am i going to do!
I Confess I Messed Up
6:47 PM
The wound begins to close in on itself, to protect what is hurting so much.
_This Is Me__
~Name: Sarah Jane Gianna Anthony
Dramamama no.4
~Horoscope: Cancer
~birthday: 12th July
~Age: 18
~School: nanana...
_My Life__
~Ice Cream
~Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl, Big Bang Theory
_xBitchesx__
x Studying
x Certain peeps...*hint*
_+wishlist+__
Razia's Shadow a Musical album!!
Time!!