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Sunday, September 28, 2008
i fear i might break
so today...well 2morrow will be the last night before the funeral....i miss her so much...i dont feel it when im around her but she will eventually be leaving us entirely soon....and tt soon is 24+ hours away...
today we sang the hymn mother of mine...gosh!! i so hate the song now! i dont want to leave her i dont want her to go! i want her to be with us forever! i want to eat her cakes and her pineapple tarts and her great cooking! i want to hear her voice! i want her to scream and shout at me and scold me! i want to switch on sun tv for her and ask her if its to loud or ask her to translate for me....I Want Her BACK!
but i cant i cant...nenek kenape!! nek...we miss you nek! why you leave us nek...what about aunty lily and uncle job what about all of us! he doesnt understand tt you are gone...and aunty lily...blind....she could not see your last moments...she could not cry but yet the tears she shed as i told her your body has left the home....the pain and fear i felt as i held her tight and explained to her your departure...HOW! HOW! are we going to explain to her tt its your last day...tt your coffin will be pushed in and as we finish the last decade of the rosary you will be gone.
you have to go...its your time...you have suffered enough and so now, you will reap your rewards in heaven. You will meet your brother. Its not a goodbye, but we will see you when the time comes...say hello to tata and kong kong for me...and greattata also....goodbye for now.
I Confess I Messed Up
12:03 AM
The wound begins to close in on itself, to protect what is hurting so much.
_This Is Me__
~Name: Sarah Jane Gianna Anthony
Dramamama no.4
~Horoscope: Cancer
~birthday: 12th July
~Age: 18
~School: nanana...
_My Life__
~Ice Cream
~Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl, Big Bang Theory
_xBitchesx__
x Studying
x Certain peeps...*hint*
_+wishlist+__
Razia's Shadow a Musical album!!
Time!!