Wednesday, July 30, 2008 I cant handle this (ps: only i can understand this)
call it love sick ( love sick?) i mean tiredness....call it whatever...i dont care i cant think anymore....my nose is running non-stop and my head is heavy and numb...im so troubled.
I have this really bad, call it a problem...i keep thinking non stop.
one small thing can be streched and escalated by a 100 fold....
im so tired of feeling this "want", - knowing that you want something but u cant have it, neither can you show that you want it. Cause well...im not sure of my feeling about the "thing" part of me wants it, but what will happen if i get it? will i ever be able get it again? but somehow i dont want it completely, i want it part by part, bit by bit...
I know i cant have it i just cant....but i wish to see it everyday to be close to it....
LOL!!!!! oh my goodness what am i writting???? My feelings are in such a mess...gosh unloading on a blog feels so good....even if i dont even understand what i am saying...I Confess I Messed Up 10:20 PM
Saturday, July 26, 2008 im on my way...legends
I Confess I Messed Up 6:16 PM
Friday, July 25, 2008 I need you now more than words can say
sometimes my erhem....she acts as though i torture her...
Today i was on the train and i called her to meet me to buy shoes....and she was like ERHEM: huh? i just got home i just changed i have so much to do....and i dont have any money.... ME: i have in the drawer bring it along ... ERHEM: err...give me 20 min then... ME: im 5 mins away why do u have to take so long? ERHEM: okok 15mins (puts the phone down) I call her up again, feeling guilty.... ME: its oklah i can go myself 2morrow ERHEM: ok then by then you will have money ME: yeah ok....
I get home and realise tt she is like totally free...she was on the com watching youtube!!! And now she is going to take a nap....
Another time it was raining heavily and i told her tt i could not go back and i needed her to come pick me up from the mrt cause i didnt have an umbrella....and she give me the same shitz about how its so troblesome for her to come pick me up...
so i told her nevermind i will just run home since its not tt far...when i got home, she had the cheek to ask me if i got wet????? Somehow....i guess...i just feel so betrayed, sometimes i have to literally tell her my feelings but she still thinks its a joke so whats the point really....confused and misunderstood
life is never perfect.I Confess I Messed Up 3:38 PM
Thursday, July 24, 2008 dorkylicious!!!
HAHAHAHA YESUNG is like trying to catch up with HEECHUL but its just not working he looks so horrible dancing haha HEECHUL!!! KAWAII!!! hahaha not korean but....yeah...hehehe
YESUNG and HEECHUL.... :)I Confess I Messed Up 8:47 PM
Tuesday, July 22, 2008 MOVIEFIED
I love watching movies...i just dont have enough money haha!!
nvm...so anyway i just watched Dark Knight on Sunday....it was amazing but still really sad...to see Heath Ledger's last movie.....
So....anyway hahaha the show is really good!! it was a fantastic show...astounding actors!!! Magie Gyllenhaal is so so so much better than katie holmes!!! like a thousand times better!!! she even kisses better hahaha!!!! then again...it was really wierd to see Maggie act with the guy who her brother kissed...and sad too cause they both got a chance to act with him before he passed...ARGH!!! why...i loved him so so much!!! I still remember him on 10 things i hate about you so clearly!!! he was so funny and romantic when he was trying to win Julia Stiles's heart....
Anyway he is an incredible actor....His ENERGY was oozing out of the cinema screen....it was just mesmerizing to see him act so well, he was the main reason tt dark night was so unbelievable!!! But the writers are also really good! to bring two face in was so unexpected haha!!! I LOVE BATMAN...TWO FACE IS SUCH A COOL CHARACTER!!! hehe...the way he flipped the coin..so...uh huh...
okay so i went to watch Hellboy too it was just as good hehe...it was different though...it was very fantasy...and the effects were really good the dialogue was so funny!!! it was an awesome show hehe....BUT the funny thing was that the theater was although empty but it was like a couple movie haha out of the 11 people there...it was 2 couples and i think the other two guys were gay haha...but a family came later so it was ok...but its like i finally realised tt yishun is a couple cinema cause its so dead haha....so funny....
ANYWAYS....i really want to watch x files!!! and star wars!!!! and WALL-E!!! i cant wait!!!! its gonna be just as good....i miss x files so much hehe...and star wars fans have been waiting so long...although i think if they used pixar the animation would be better....AND WALL-E hahaha the show is gonna be hilarious and groundbreaking hehe...must save up a lot i guess hehe...
I Confess I Messed Up 8:12 PM
Wednesday, July 16, 2008 Proposal
haha Yesung asking me to marry him at 2.15!!! hahaha
I LOVE HIM!! he looks so hot here!!!! he looks hot all the time...hehe...and the guys are so cute stumbling and looking shy...haha and when Sungmin and Siwon came out the crowd was like saranghae LOL!!!
haha i am going to convert all of you'll to love superjunior!!! SUJU!!!im on a super junior vid spree...
RAPHyuk) Love, oh baby my girl You are my everything. My dazzlingly beautiful bride. You are a gift from god Heechul) We'll be very happy, your black eyes well up with tears. Even if your black memerizing hair turns white My love, you my love, I swear I love you. Min) Saying I love you is what I want to do the most everyday in my life Wook) Would you marry me? I want to love you, treasure you, and live with you Kang) I want you to lean on my shoulders each time you sleep Hankyun) Would you marry me? With this heart of mine, will you accept me? Kyu) To accompany you for the whole lifetime, I do To love you, I do Ye) Regardless of snow and rain, i will be there to protect you, I do Let me be the one to protect you, my love Rap)Hae) you wearing the white bridal gown. Me wearing the suit. Both of us walking in sync towards the stars and moon, I swear No lies, no suspicion My dearest princess, stay with me Won) Even if we are becoming older, we will smile and live on Teuk) Would you marry me? Are you willing to live the rest of your life with me? Ryeo) no matter how weary and tired we are, I do I will always be by your side, I do Ye) The days when we will spend together, I do. Everyday will my heart be thankful, my love Kyu) I have prepared this (ring) for you since a long time ago, Please take this shiny ring in my hand (Ye) Just like the mood today, remember the promise that we're making now. Would you marry me? (Min) To accompany you for the whole lifetime,I do To love you, I do Regardless of snow and rain, I will be there to protect you, I do. Let me be the one to protect you, my love (Rap)(Hyuk) The only thing that I can give you is love. Although it's insignificant. Even though there are areas which I lack. I will protect the love between us, me and you. Let's make a promise, no matter what happens we will still be in love. And even so... Background)I do I will always be by your side, I do The days when we will spend together, I do. Everyday will my heart be thankful, my love (Ryeo) Will you marry me? I doI Confess I Messed Up 6:57 PM
Monday, July 14, 2008 OMG RED GLASSES
hehe...the same song this one live and YeSung is wearing his red glasses!!! he looks so adorable in the pink shirt with the bow...and his voice is so good!!!! and haha wonder girls are right after them..hehe I Confess I Messed Up 6:46 PM
work
i so need to start studying but just for now tribute to my lover....hehe!! YeSung PEACE!!! hehe! he looks so hot as always!!! (the vid stops at 4 mins something btw)
I Confess I Messed Up 6:28 PM
Friday, July 11, 2008 mayday mayday
I received my best present so far!!!! i have the mayday parade album!!!!!!! i am so so so so so happy!!! THANK YOU!!! so much guys i love you all so much thank you for spending so much on me...i bet it was expensive....next time get me a diamond bracelet ok hahaha!! no lah no need so expensive, a polaroid camera enough hahaha!!!
You guys are the best the chocolates are so shiok!!! thank you thank you!!! so sad we cant meet today but mac donalds was good enough hahaha someday...we will have sushi together!!! :)
today was totally awesome...hehe! 2morrow is going to be fun too!! i cant wait to just hang out and drink coffee and eat cheesecake, better exercise so i can eat more 2morrow hehe!
oh and not forgetting, thank you guys for your support when i was emoing...i really needed it thank you!I Confess I Messed Up 6:26 PM
Tuesday, July 08, 2008 what a week
This was supposed to be a great week for me, but its not i failed from what i know 3 papers out of 4, the last paper i havent found out yet.....it better not suck i hope but then again hope is just four disconnected letters combined and put together by a disconnected man who missed the point.... I am really disappointed with myself, really disappointed. I really dont know what to do and how to tell my parents about the shithole im in....i really dont feel like celebrating my birth anymore....somehow celebrating your own birthdays seems a little boastful now...
Its not my first time but i seriously thought that after o'levels, i changed....i hate myself i hate myself so much, and i know that screaming at my self wont do the trick it but at least it doesnt hurt as much as when my parents do it....they already expected me to fail and i proved them right...YAY for me!!
I hate this mess this rut i am in. I need to get out but i cant do it alone i know i cant.....I Confess I Messed Up 7:46 PM
Wednesday, July 02, 2008 sixteen going seventeen...hehe...
ahaha! i depend on you haha! i rmb the times i used to sing this during drama rehearsals, i used to sing this song all the time hahaha! Sound Of Music!!! old times naive times i need to grow up and grow out of my childishness....im gonna be 17 next saturday argh!!! MY LIFE IS AN EMPTY STAGE....THIS IS SO SCARY!!! I DONT WANT TO GROW OLDER!!!
LYRICS: You wait, little girl, on an empty stage, for fate to turn the light on. Your life, little girl, is an empty page that men will want to write on to write on......... You are sixteen going on seventeen Baby, it's time to think Better beware, be canny and careful Baby, you're on the brink You are sixteen going on seventeen Fellows will fall in line Eager young lads and roues and cads Offer you food and wine Totally unprepared are you to face a world of men Timid and shy and scared are you Of things beyond your ken You'll need someone older and wiser Telling you what to do, I am seventeen going on eighteen I'll take care of you! I am sixteen going on seventeen I know that I'm naive Fellows I meet may tell me I'm sweet And willingly I believe I am sixteen going on seventeen Innocent as a rose Bachelor dandies, drinkers of brandies What do I know of those? Totally unprepared am I to face a world of men Timid and shy and scared am I Of things beyond my ken I need someone older and wiser Telling me what to do, You are seventeen going on eighteen I'll depend on you!I Confess I Messed Up 11:22 PM
The wound begins to close in on itself, to protect what is hurting so much.
_This Is Me__
~Name: Sarah Jane Gianna Anthony
Dramamama no.4
~Horoscope: Cancer
~birthday: 12th July
~Age: 18
~School: nanana...
_My Life__
~Ice Cream
~Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl, Big Bang Theory
_xBitchesx__
x Studying
x Certain peeps...*hint*
_+wishlist+__
Razia's Shadow a Musical album!!
Time!!
